To-do list after arrival in the UK

So you plan like crazy, get what feels like a million documents together, do an online application that feels both invasive and frightening, head off for biometrics where your face is photographed and your fingers are printed and now finally, FINALLY you have made it to the UK. Now what??


Now the fun starts! And the big questions is what to do first?



TO DO LIST:


* BRP. First up, if you came on a visa and not a British passport, you need to toddle off to the post office mentioned on the letter you got when you collected your passport (it's usually the post office nearest the address you gave in your application) and collect your BRP.


*UK Driver's Licence. Next it would be a good idea to exchange your SA Driver's licence for a British one - although you can drive on your South African licence legally for a year. A British Driver's licence comes in very handy as a proof of address and also for identification purposes. Find out how to exchange your Drivers licence here.


*Opening a bank account. Personally I found it very helpful to open a Monzo account initially. I opened my account before we left South Africa - this is possible provided you have a friend or family member who is willing to have your bank card delivered to their address. I absolutely love Monzo, it is the most user-friendly bank I have ever dealt with and I have not had a single problem.


*Applying for an NI number. National Insurance (NI) works in a similar fashion to UIF in South Africa. National Insurance contributions are basically a tax on your earnings paid by both employees and employers and your NI contributions help to build your entitlement to certain state benefits, such as the state pension and maternity allowance. You will begin paying National Insurance once you are earning more than £162 a week (this is the figure for the 2018-19 tax year). To apply for your NI number you need to phone 08001412075 and speak to an agent to make an appointment to apply for your NI number. (Note: If you are on a Tier 2 visa your NI number has probably already been issued to you and you will find it on the back of your BRP card.) You can begin working before you receive your NI number, but your employer will need it asap


*Register for NHS. To register for NHS you will need to register with your local GP. Pop into your chosen GP's rooms and ask to register as a patient of that practice. They will give you various forms to fill out and will need proof of accommodation (I used my UK Driver's licence) and will need to see (and perhaps take a copy of) your BRP and passport. You will soon receive a letter in the mail with your NHS number on it.


*TV Licence. Assuming you buy a TV in the UK, you will need to get a TV licence. Have a look at this website with details of how to get a licence.


photo credit: verchmarco <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/160866001@N07/46537652121">Leere Prioritätenliste mit dem Titel PRIORITIES und drei freien, nummerierten Zeilen</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

3 Months in the UK

Today it's exactly 3 months since we arrived in the UK! 

This month has been all about putting down roots.  I had a bit of a wobbly when our shipping arrived (as mentioned in my previous blog post) but I got over that surprisingly quickly and the rest of the month has been plain-sailing. 

Grant has been working on a contract in Scotland for the last 2 1/2 weeks and will finish up there next week.  Work seems to be going really well and the money is very good, so we're relieved about that.  According to the agency he is working through, there will always be contracting work available.  Ideally he'd like to have a permanent job that is more local, but for now the contracting will do and it's good UK experience for him.

We had our first experience with the NHS recently.  Our little granddaughter Issy got really sick quite suddenly and was running terribly high temps.  Rox made an appointment at our local GP where we are registered.  Issy was seen by the sweetest doctor, who examined her thoroughly and diagnosed her with tonsillitis, she was put on a 10 day course of antibiotics and Roxy was told to bring her back anytime if she had any concerns.  So our first experience of the NHS was a positive one.  In other medical news, Grant and I recently got letters in the post, inviting us to come into our GP's rooms for a free, comprehensive health check.  I can't say I'm very excited at the prospect - I loathe going to the doctor - but we will trot along there as soon as we are back from SA.

Talking of SA, in a week's time we hop on a plane and head back to South Africa for 2 1/2 weeks for our daughter, Paula's, wedding.  It's going to be quite surreal to go back there.  To be honest, I'm half dreading it and I'm a bit nervous about it - I don't want to have another wobbly like I did when our shipping arrived.  The timing isn't really ideal is it?   I'd like to have been here for at the very least 6 months before venturing back, but circumstances dictated that this was the right time to have the wedding, so off to SA we go!

There is no doubt whatsoever that England is my home now, I'm feeling wonderfully settled here.  So I think it's going to feel really weird being back in SA, I imagine it will still feel very familiar, but it won't be "home" - or will we immediately feel at home there?  My gut says "no", but who knows?  It will be an interesting experience either way.  

Random thoughts about this month:
* I love it here!  I absolutely love our little town and the life we are living here.  It has far exceeded my expectations.
* I am starting to relax into things - up to now I have been waiting for a drama, I've had a sense of "it can't be this easy to pack up my life and move across the world - there has to be a big drama around the next corner"  Well, it's beginning to look like there isn't going to be a drama (touch wood!) so I am starting to breathe more easily.
* Issy is picking up the sweetest British accent, I could listen to her talk all day, it's adorable!
* We are having the most amazing weather - from what I've heard it is very unusual for this time of year.  Yesterday we were walking around in jeans and T-shirts.  It gives one a taste of what it's going to be like living here in Summer and I like it!

* Hobnobs are wonderful and I am going to have to be very careful that I don't end up with "Hobnob hips"
*  I love the parks in the UK.  So many lovely places to take the kids to play.

Excuse the outfit.... Issy has a rather unique sense of style!

Exchanging your SA Driver's Licence for a UK Driver's licence

Although you can legally drive in the UK on your South African Driver's Licence for a year, I personally feel it's a good idea to exchange your licence as soon as possible as the UK Driver's licence serves as a proof of address and is also useful for identification purposes.

How to exchange your South African Driver's licence for a UK one:

Go to your local post office and ask the person behind the counter for the form you need - it's form D1.  (The guy I dealt with was super-helpful and assisted me every step of the way)

Get your photo taken - there was a DIY cubicle for photos in the post office I went to

Get a postal order - the post office will confirm, but when we went we needed a £43 postal order

We had to send the form, the photo, the postal order as well as our BRPs and passports (I'm not entirely sure that it was necessary to send the passport, but the guy I dealt with said I should)

Your BRP and passport will be posted back to you within a few days and a day or two later you'll get your UK licence in the post.

Note: there is a clause that says you can only exchange your licence after being in the UK for 185 days - this is to stop people on Visit Visas from exchanging their licences.  Most South Africans I have spoken to, who are planning to stay in the UK have exchanged their licences before the 185 days are up with no problems whatsoever.  I ignored the clause and exchanged my licence the day I collected my BRP.  

photo credit: filipeb <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/38875534@N00/101236579">carocha</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

UK Spouse or partner visa

Disclaimer: Please note I am not qualified in the emigration field, the below observations are what my daughter experienced when applying for her spousal visa. The figures mentioned below are correct at the time of posting. This post is written from the perspective of a South African emigrating to the UK. When applying for your spousal visa please get the help of a person duly qualified to assist you. 

If you are married to a British passport holder, the visa you would need to apply for in order to emigrate with them is the spouse visa. If you are the unmarried partner of a BP holder you'd apply for the same visa, but in this case you'd need to prove that you've been living together for 2 years in a "relationship akin to marriage". Our daughter Roxy applied for a spousal visa to emigrate to the UK as her husband is a British Passport holder. 

A good place to start when researching this visa is this site.


Requirements for this visa:

• Proof that you are married, or that you have been living together for 2 years. Apart from your unabridged marriage certificate (if you are married), you would need to provide information regarding how and when you met, when you moved in together, photographs over the course of your relationship and mail addressed to both of you going to the same address. It's wise to include a letter from your spouse/partner that includes all the relevant information regarding your relationship and confirming that they wish you to join them in the UK and that they will provide for you. Also, letters from friends (including their contact details) attesting to the fact that your relationship is genuine. 

• Pass the English test - you can do the IELTS A1, but it's better to do the B1 at this stage, because that way you avoid having to pass the A2 test later on. Ensure you write the IELTS for UKVI - this is the one that is accepted for visa purposes. See this site for info on writing the IELTS in South Africa. 

• Prove that your partner can support you financially. This page has info on the financial requirements. There are a couple of options for the financial requirement which I have listed below. 

• You need to have a TB test done at an approved centre

• Proof of adequate accommodation arrangements in the UK 

The spouse visa is granted for a period of 2.5 years, after which you would need to apply for Further Leave to Remain for another 2.5 years, after which you are eligible to apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain.

Further information regarding financial requirements:

The spouse/partner with the British passport (i.e the sponsor) needs to show that they are able to support their family, there are a couple of ways to do this:

INCOME
If only a spouse/partner is coming over to join the sponsor, the sponsor needs to provide proof of a pre-tax income of at least £18,600 per annum.  If there are also dependent children (who do not have British passports) the BP-holder would need to show additional income of £3,800 for the first child and £2,400 for each additional child. 

NB:  This income can be earned by the sponsor in the UK - 6 months payslips would be required for the visa application - or it could be earned in South Africa, provided the South African salary meets the minimum threshold required (i.e the sponsor would need to earn the rand equivalent to £18 600 - or more if there are children involved) and the sponsor has a UK job offer earning the required amount.  If using the South African earnings route 12 months payslips are required.

INCOME AND CASH SAVINGS COMBINED
In addition to income, cash savings can be used to reach the required minimum earnings. If you intend to use cash savings to supplement your income you need to show a minimum savings of £16000, any amount OVER the £16000 can be used to supplement your income to help you reach the minimum requirement.

The calculation works like this:

(Amount of savings – 16 000) ÷ 2.5 = X

18 600 - X = amount of income you would still need to show.

Example: If you have £30 000 savings

(30 000 – 16 000) ÷ 2.5 = £5 600

£18 600 – £5 600 = £13 000


SAVINGS
Another way to look at the calculation above is to say savings must equal £16,000 plus the shortfall between the salary earned and the amount required, multiplied by 2.5. Looking at it this way, if you want to rely entirely on savings you need to have savings of £62 500 to apply for a spouse alone (£16 000 + (18600 x 2.5)) or £72 000 to apply for a spouse and one child (£16 000 + (18 600+3800)x2.5) and so on.

When your worlds collide

It's been a really strange week people!  On Monday our shipping arrived, I had been eagerly, impatiently, waiting for this day, so there was much excitement when the truck arrived outside our flat on Monday morning.  The boxes were brought in, ticked off, opened... it was so exciting!  

Everything was going great until, I carried the little mat that I like to keep in my kitchen from the box in the lounge into the kitchen, laid it on the floor and... WHAM.... dagger to the heart.... I pictured our little dog, who died in South Africa, sitting on that mat while I cooked dinner, in our kitchen in Kloof.  I was literally gulping back sobs.  And it was like that memory opened the flood-gates, memory after memory slapped me in the face as we unpacked those boxes.  I can say in complete honesty it was one of the more difficult days of my life (and I've had a few!)

Thinking about it later on I realised that in my mind I've had 2 distinct compartments, "Life in South Africa" and "Life in England".  That worked perfectly for me; they were two completely separate entities, no untidy comparisons, no mixing of emotions, it was all neat and tidy... then and now....  Bringing those boxes into our flat on Monday was basically bringing my "Life in South Africa" into my home in Buckinghamshire - my worlds collided, the boundaries were brought down and boy was it painful!  I decided the wisest course of action was probably to feel all those feelings, be a mess for a day or two, and then stop looking in the rear-view mirror and move on.  So Monday and Tuesday were not my greatest days ever!  By Wednesday I was ready to cheer-up, it was a beautiful, crisp, sunny day and we went to Hughenden for a lovely walk, by the time we got back in the car all was right with my world again.

We had an awesome snowfall on Thursday night and woke up to a Winter wonderland on Friday.  It was a "snow day" for everyone, so the entire family gathered on a nearby hill and went sledding.  I found myself standing on that hill silently thanking England for welcoming us, sending out gratitude for the journey that brought us to this incredible place.

This week was such a reminder to me that feelings are fluid, that what may seem an insurmountable heartache today can slowly but surely ebb away and be replaced by pure joy.  I just need to allow myself to feel and process all the emotions.

2 Months in the UK

I thought it was about time I did another update on how we are settling-in in the UK. We've been here two months now!


Overall, I think I speak for all of us when I say we genuinely love it here. Having said that, we have certainly faced some challenges, it has by no means been plain-sailing.


So let me start with the things that have been difficult:


1. No. 1 is, without a doubt, our little granddaughter Isabella and school. Issy is 4 years old, in South Africa she was in a fantastic little playschool - the sort of place where she could climb up onto the teacher's lap at story-time if the mood took her. Here, she is in Reception year. The school couldn't be more far-removed from what she experienced in South Africa. There are strict regulations about everything, Issy gets reading homework every day, she wears a uniform, there are no hugs from the teachers, it's just been a MONUMENTAL leap for her and she's struggled to adjust - in fact we all have. More on this later...


2. Grant finding work. Before we moved it pretty much looked like Grant had found a job (I went into some detail about this in previous posts) unfortunately that job fell through at the last minute and since then he has been looking for work. Reading on groups we belong to, it seems like most people don't struggle to find work on arrival in the UK, but for Grant it has been a huge struggle. He has honestly done all the right things, he has his CV in the UK format, he even had it professionally re-written, he's more than happy to take a job below his skill level, he's submitted his CV to all the recruitment agencies, he's made finding work his full-time job since we arrived... he's done his level best, but ... no job! Part of the reason is without a doubt the fact that his particular line of work is a very niche position.   Anyway, finally, FINALLY, he has a job and starts work on 4 Feb!


3. Living on rands. Ja, I won't lie, we have been haemorrhaging our ronts hey! Flip, it's quite scary. We'll be very, very glad to see some pounds rolling in.


4. Being without our stuff. So, our shipping left on the 26th of October and barring an unforeseen calamity, it will finally arrive at our door on Monday. We cannot wait! On the other hand, it's also rather a scary prospect as quite where we are going to put all that stuff is a flipping good question! We've gone from a 3 bedroom home with an office, a granny flat and two outdoor areas to a teeny-tiny little 2 bedroom, one bathroom flat and did I mention that the UK in general doesn't believe in built-in cupboards... so there's that. So far we have been living with one sharp knife, one casserole dish and 3 pots... you get the picture.... so I am going to dive on my kitchenware like a woman possessed!


5. Feeling part of the community. This is a strange concept and rather difficult to explain. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the least social person you are ever likely to meet. I like my own company and I love my friends but "being social" is not my scene AT ALL. I really detest any sort of social gathering and am painfully shy and socially awkward. So it strikes me as really weird that I hate not feeling part of the local community... but there you have it. Where we lived before the waiters at our favourite restaurants knew us, my hairstylist knew all about me, my gardener was my BFF and I sometimes smiled shyly at the lady who walked in the park - I felt like I belonged. Here, not so much! Grant and I go to the pub once or twice a week and I hate it that we don't know one single person there... we arrive and leave, generally without saying a single word to anyone except the bar-person (and I can't bring myself to smile shyly at anyone). I honestly don't need, or particularly want, to strike up a conversation with anyone, but it would be nice just to see a familiar face to say "hello" to. We are trying to greet people we see regularly, so perhaps it will come with time. It's funny because, on the whole, I find people (till-operators in the shops, the postman etc) friendly, so it's not that people are unfriendly as such, it's rather that people don't seem to welcome you into the community easily. To be honest I think I also give off a bit of an unfriendly vibe.... LOL!


Now for the good stuff!


Things that have gone well:

1. Issy's school. Confused? Let me explain. When Issy was having a hard time settling in at school here Rox and Jon went and met with her teacher and she spent well over an hour with them. She explained the plans she had set up to help Issy going forward - among other things, Issy will attend a weekly group that is there to support the pupils who have any sort of struggle, she has been assigned an individual facilitator for several hours a week and one of the teaching assistants will spend extra time with Issy and be there to guide her whenever necessary. They are going above and beyond to help and support her. We're very impressed!


2. The countryside. We are absolutely LOVING getting out into the countryside. We are spoilt for choice with gorgeous places like Hughenden, Waddesdon Manor, Coombe Hill, Hell-fire Caves and Cliveden (my favourite!) and many more on our doorstep. We bought National Trust annual membership for ourselves and the rest of the family for Christmas this year and are putting it to extremely good use already. Something I love about this area is the number of public footpaths criss-crossing the hills around us, it is wonderful how accessible the countryside is.


Hughenden Estate



Waddesdon Manor



Coombe Hill



View from Hell-fire caves



Hell-fire Caves (yes the sky sometimes gets THAT blue in Winter!)



Cliveden Estate


3. Our flat. Guys, I'll be honest, when we signed the lease for this flat I wondered how on earth I was going to deal with living in such a very tiny, very humble, rather grim-looking place. (Yeah, I'm aware that makes me sound like a spoilt brat!) How much I am enjoying it has come as a huge surprise to me! Our flat is in the High Street going through the heart of our little village, we are on the ground floor and there are only 4 flats in our block, with a small communal garden. The first thing I did when we moved in was buy a couple of bird feeders and hang them in the tree outside my kitchen window - washing dishes has become a pleasure as I get acquainted with the local avian community - that small thing has gone a ridiculously long way to making me feel comfortable here. (It's also led to some seriously weird conversations: "Grant come quickly, there's a Great Tit in the tree!"...words I never thought I'd hear myself say...) We've furnished our flat simply, but nicely (Hello Ikea, nice to know you!) and done our best to make it feel homely and are really feeling settled and comfortable here and no doubt when our shipping arrives and we have more of our personal knick-knacks around us we'll feel even more so.


If you shut one eye and squint you will see my bird feeders in the tree! Isn't the snow PRETTY?!


4. The weather. Say again? It's Winter! I thought we would absolutely hate the weather. It was something that literally scared me and gave me cold sweats when I thought about it before we left South Africa. I can say in complete honesty that I am enjoying the weather. We have got a handle on the central heating - 15 degrees C is our happy temp and it comes on twice a day for a few hours - and my sinuses are now sorted. We love going for walks in the brisk cold temps. So far the grey days don't really get us down (although I suppose if we had too many of them on a trot we might get over it!) and the ice cold blue-skied days are an absolute delight. We bundle up and get outside no matter the weather and thoroughly enjoy it. This week we had snow and we LOVED it. Such fun. The melt is a bit messy and mushy, but so, so worth it!


5. Proximity to London. We don't go to London all that often (there's that awkward thing about spending ronts...) but man it's nice being able to hop on a train and be there an hour later when we do want to go.


6. Doing this with family.  It's no secret that Grant and I moved here because the grandkids Rox and Jon were moving here.  Our family is tight and the thought of not being there to see our grandkids grow up was unbearable.  Ideally, 50 is no time to be waving your pension good-bye and starting all over again, but although on some level it might have been an insane decision, I'm so glad we made the move.  It is SUCH a joy to be doing this with our kids and grandkids down the road.  It's so much fun sharing new experiences.  It's also lovely to have people to talk to that truly know what you are going through and it's even better when those people are family.  



So that about sums it up for now. My overall feeling is ... peace. I am at peace with our decision to move here, I'm at peace with where we are. I'm at peace with how we are living.  I love England in general and the area we have settled in in particular. I don't really miss South Africa, although I do miss my family and friends who are still there. I miss my Paula-girl fiercely when she's not here (she's here at the moment, yay!) and I miss my Impi dreadfully. But ultimately, two months in and I'm happy!

2 weeks in the UK

So, we have been in the UK for 2 full weeks now.  I thought I'd post some of my initial impressions.

POSITIVES:

• I feel incredibly settled and at home, having been here for such a short time, and considering the fact that we currently don't have a home... that comes as a huge surprise!
• Feeling safe.  It is so amazing not to feel fearful at all - no burglar bars, or burglar alarms, and people walk their dogs all over the place in the dark all the time
• So far, the Winter weather is not nearly as awful as I had imagined, as long as you dress properly for the weather you can go out and about quite comfortably.  (I'm guessing that might change as we head towards February - I've been warned it can get pretty grim!)
• There is a lovely Wintery, Christmassy atmosphere, Christmas lights and music everywhere... I'm LOVING that!
• I am really happy with the area of Buckinghamshire we have settled in - it's absolutely lovely!
• Being vegetarian is REALLY easy in the UK.  The options are endless and delicious.
• People are SO friendly, it astounds me daily - from the cashiers at supermarkets to the moms at Issy's school - people have been unfailingly polite and friendly
• The postal service is awesome
• There is no litter and it is incredibly clean, even the public loos 
• The Christmas markets are amazing!
• Mulled wine!!!  Mulled cider!!!  Heavenly...
• We have managed to see several friends in the short time we've been here, which has helped us to feel settled.  I love that my Lissy is less than an hour away!
• We live in the Chilterns, there are Red Kites in our area - as in the bird of prey, not the child's toy - they were on the brink of extinction and have been successfully re-introduced.  I love seeing them every day.  Makes my heart smile.
• There are loads of woods, National Trust properties and lovely walks on our doorstep
• Getting to know the local wildlife is such fun
• Public transport is amazing here
• London is less than an hour's train ride away
• Online shopping.

NEGATIVES:

• I miss my Paula and Impi something fierce!
• My body-clock was terribly confused by the sun setting at 4pm, getting used to it now, but it is a bit weird!  I keep on wanting to eat supper at 5pm.
• Things work so well here, but that can be a bit intimidating - I feel like at any moment I might do the wrong thing.  Makes me a bit nervous
• Spending rands..... eish! It's expensive.  
• At the moment I am fully embracing the cold, Wintery, darkness - it's cosy and I genuinely love it, but I can imagine that by the end of February it may get a bit old and I'll be yearning for sunshine.
• It's a pain getting the kiddies all dressed up in their coats, hats, gloves and boots before we go anywhere - and they can't wear their coats in their car seats, so it's a battle we fight repeatedly.... coat on, coat off, coat on again....
• This place doesn't sell the good meds... my headaches call for Myprodol, my colds call for Corenza C and Linctagon and that weird tooth sometimes needs Cataflam... problems!
• There is no Woolies chai.... sob, sob, sob....
• There is no Tommy's sushi.....sob, sob, sob....
• lime scale.  It's a nuisance
• Issy has jumped all the way into "big school" - she's now in a uniform, going to school from 9am to 3pm, learning the 3Rs.  Guys! She's only little!
• I think I sometimes come across as rude.  The people are very, very polite, whereas I think we can sometimes be a bit "bull in a china shop".
• The central heating does a number on my sinuses.  It can get very dry and stuffy.  You'd know our house, it's the one that regularly has the windows and doors flung open when it gets a bit much for me.
• I haven't been able to find decent sushi in our immediate area.  (Can you tell the girl is missing her sushi-fix?!

Our first week in the UK

Our first week in the UK couldn't have been better.  We had planned for this week to be fun and relaxed as Paula had come over with us, but was only staying for a week before heading back to South Africa.  We wouldn't be seeing her over Christmas, so we tried to pack as much Christmas spirit into the week as we could - and Christmas spirit is something England does very, very well!

On Saturday morning we set off to the post office to collect our BRPs (Biometric residence permit)  These permits are credit card-style cards that we will carry with us, proving that we are legally entitled to reside in the UK.  We also applied for our UK driver's licences.  This entailed posting our passports and BRPs off - something the South African in me found rather disconcerting, but as it turned out was nothing to worry about.  A couple of days later I got a slip through the door, requesting me to collect a parcel at the post office and there was my passport and BRP, safe and sound, and a day later my shiny new UK driver's licence was posted through the front door.  I LOVE the UK postal system!

This week we also went and opened a bank account and registered to vote.  It is a good idea to register to vote, as (weirdly!) it plays a part in helping to build your credit history.  

So the admin part of our week was quite successful - we have mobile SIM cards, we have our BRPs, we have a bank account, we have UK Driver's licences and we are registered to vote.  

Still to do:

• I need to register for NI (Grant is already registered from his previous stint in the UK)
• we need to register with our local doctor

Aside from the admin sort of things, we did a lot of fun stuff in our first week too.

We went to our local farm shop's Christmas market, we went to the Christmas festival in a nearby village - that was great fun, think a crisp Winter night, Christmas lights, mulled wine, an antique fairground organ, lots of stalls.... , we spent a morning in Bath at the Christmas fair, we met friends in Windsor one morning and finally we spent a day in London.  London really shows off at Christmas time, my photos don't do it justice at all!

D-Day finally arrived

Our last week in South Africa was really strange - in some ways it sped by and in other ways it seemed to drag on endlessly.  I had such mixed emotions, there was stress, nervousness, fear, dread, excitement, joy, sadness.... you name it, I felt it!  

Our last night was spent at a B&B and that evening we went out for dinner with our daughter Paula, her fiance, Calvin and Impi.  Impi is in his late 20s, he has grown up as a part of our family - his mother was my parents' housekeeper.  I drove his mom to hospital the day he was born and since then he has been like a son to me.  Although I know we will see him regularly and I hope that one-day he will also come to live in England, I was dreading saying goodbye to him.  This was the biggie for me, the one thing that I knew was probably going to break my heart.  And it did.  I randomly burst into tears halfway through dinner and it took me a good few minutes to get a handle on my emotions.  I still tear-up when I think about it.  Fortunately, that little emotional outburst aside, our dinner was pleasant and we had a good time together.

The day of our departure dawned and we took care of a couple of last-minute errands, went and had coffee and then lunch and before we knew it it was time to pack up and head to the airport!

photo credit: wilco737 via photopin (license)

We flew Emirates because of their generous baggage allowance (2 x 23kg bags checked-in luggage per person.)  Once at the airport we did our luggage drop-off and then went through security.  We had decided not to have anyone see us off at the airport and I was really pleased with that decision on the day.  Our wait at the airport and our flights were uneventful and after what felt like VERY many hours, we landed at Heathrow.  We were dealt with by a pleasant customs official who stamped our passports and wished us well in the UK after having a look at our BRP letters.  We had taken all of our documents and TB certificates in our hand luggage, just in case, but she didn't ask for any of that.

Once we had collected our luggage (it all arrived, safe and sound!)  we hired a car at Heathrow and set off for our temporary accommodation that we'd booked through booking.com.

It felt a bit anti-climatic really...all the build up to the big move and then the departure from Durban, the flight and our arrival in the UK felt so ... ordinary.  

My To-do list for our ancestral visa application

This is the To-do list I used for our UK Ancestry visa application with spouse dependent:

At least 6 months before you intend applying for your visa:

• Apply for SA unabridged birth certificates
• Apply for SA marriage certificates
• Apply for UK birth certificate
• Get quotes from pet transport agents if you are considering taking your pet/s

At least 4 months before you intend applying for your visa:

• Begin the process of having your pet micro-chipped, vaccinated, titre tested etc and confirm the agent you are using for their transport

At least 3 months before you intend applying for your visa:

• Get or renew SA passports if necessary (check the expiry date in current passport and make sure there are enough pages)
• Ensure that there are sufficient funds per applicant in a bank account (the consensus at the date of this post is R30 000 per applicant)
• Update CV of the main applicant to the UK format (free template here)
• Register with employment agencies (Reed and Indeed are good options)
• Start collecting proof of relationship for spouse dependent (20 photos over the duration of the relationship, including wedding photo, mail addressed to both applicants at the same address, joint bond statement if applicable etc)

Roughly a month before you want to go to your biometrics appointment:

• Get TB test done - see the list of approved clinics here.
• Apply for a couple of jobs and keep the email responses
• Arrange for proof of UK accommodation eg invitation letter from friend or family member (incl copy of their passport, utility bill) or booking through Booking.com or Airbnb
• Apply for the ancestral visa online, book the biometrics appointment and pay the NHS surcharge, register with TLS contact.  Before doing the online visa application it may help to complete the form manually - a manual copy can be found here.

A week before the appointment for biometrics:

• Get 3 months bank statements showing sufficient funds per applicant printed and stamped by the bank
• Take colour photocopies of important documents such as birth and marriage certificates

On the day of the appointment:

• Ensure that you have the originals and photocopies of all relevant documents
• Make sure that none of your documents have staples or paper clips attached
• None of your documents should be laminated
• Make sure your documents are in an easily accessible file - I found a concertina file like this one works great.
• Get to your appointment half an hour early, take a deep breath and relax, it's going to be fine!

Its a process

In exactly a week's time we will be leaving our home in South Africa for the last time - it feels so surreal!  We will then spend a night in a B&B before leaving for the UK next Thursday.  

Being an anal, Type-A, personality I have planned our last week down to the final detail, but the weird thing is that even at times when my To-do list has come unstuck and our plans have gone awry it seems like we just keep plodding on towards our final goal... which is of course getting on that plane to England!  It almost seems like our journey towards that goal has taken on a life of its own and we are being carried along for the ride.  Appointments happen, admin gets done, details get seen to and, slowly but surely, everything falls into place.  There is something strangely comforting in knowing that - even on the days when I fall to pieces a little bit - the process is happening and we are progressing towards D-Day.

Photo by Chimene Gaspar on Unsplash

At last

We accepted an offer on our house last night, although we had to drop our price considerably, it seems to be a solid offer, with a pre-approved bond and a large cash deposit, so by the looks of things we are good with this one.  Ohmyshatterednerves.... nothing like getting right down to the wire!   The relief is enormous, but also weirdly anti-climatic.  I thought we'd be giddy with excitement when the offer finally came in, but we just felt.... exhausted... really. It's been a tough, tough few weeks!

Today has been a buzz of activity as all the tasks that had to wait until the house sold suddenly became urgent today - setting a date for the shipping of our goods, arranging the date for the sale of our goods, cancelling our security, our newspaper delivery.... the list goes on and on.  All systems go!!!

The Price we Pay

I haven't blogged much about our emigration journey lately - mainly because I have battled to find the words.  I've been feeling really discouraged about many aspects of the process.  There have been days recently when I have felt that the price we have to pay to emigrate is just too high, way way too high...  I'm not talking about the actual rands that we have to throw into the seemingly bottomless pit that is visa fees, shipping, TB tests, NHS surcharge.... and so on - although that in itself is significant indeed - but rather the price we have to pay emotionally.  The things we have to give up, the doors we have to close, the good-byes that have to be said and the long-held vision of the future that now suddenly looks completely different.  It's so so hard...

My personal slump began with the sale of our house falling through and it's been pretty much downhill from there.  Although we have dropped the price significantly, our agent has very kindly foregone his sole mandate and opened the house up to all the agencies in the area, and we have had a myriad of agents and prospective buyers through, we just can't seem to sell our house, which is really freaking us out as our departure date is looming ever closer.  It appears that there is a tsunami of emigration happening and that, coupled with people really feeling the pinch financially, has resulted in an over-supply of houses on the market.  Our agent is adamant that our house is priced correctly - he was actually against us dropping the price - and keeps assuring us that it will sell.... but to be honest I don't take much comfort in that, we need it to sell NOW...today!  And at the same time, I hate that we are selling our home that we love so much, and have worked so hard on, for less than it is worth in our eyes.  It makes me sad.  Although this house is nothing fancy, it has been a lovely home to our family and we are deeply attached to it.

To add to our woes, Grant has had no joy on the job front.  We know that it is incredibly difficult to secure a job while still in South Africa, but we had high hopes that it was going to happen for us.  Grant had a number of very promising interviews for a particular position - and although he has been told that the job may still come about, it is on hold for now.  So we wait and he continues to send out his CV and apply for jobs daily.

So those are the biggies when it comes to things that are currently stressing me out of my wits and causing me to pop Biral like Smarties.  But then there are all the other "little" things that wound my poor beaten-up heart on a daily basis - and I think this is where personality comes into play.  I am by nature super-sensitive and highly-strung, so I think that a lot of things that are causing me real distress may be easier to deal with for those with a more robust and optimistic nature (like Grant and Roxy for instance!)  Going through our household goods and deciding what to ship was a nightmare for me. The guy came to look at our items for shipping on Monday and then yesterday the lady from Moving On (the company we have chosen to sell our remaining goods) came to photograph all the things we are selling so that they can be priced and catalogued, in preparation for the sale in early November.  Trust me, it's not easy having your worldly goods laid bare and scrutinised by strangers (even though the strangers were very kind and efficient!)  Not a pleasant experience.

Friday was my last day at work and that hit me a whole lot harder than I expected.  For the last couple of weeks my mantra has been "I can't wait to finish work... I can't wait to finish work..."  So imagine my surprise when the day eventually dawned and I woke up feeling nothing but SAD, no joy, relief or elation at all!  In retrospect I can see that the reaction I had shouldn't have come as a surprise at all - I have worked for some of my clients since 1990, over the years they have become more like friends than clients to me.  My job has become a part of my identity, so letting go was like leaving a little piece of me behind.

We have also begun the ghastly process of saying good-bye to pets.  Our chickens, Elizabeth and Catherine, formerly happy residents of Cluckingham Palace in our back-yard, are on their way to their new home as we speak.  

It's quite ridiculous how attached we are to those girls and saying good-bye to them was HARD.  We have made the dreadful decision to have our elderly cats put to sleep later this month - we feel they are too old and highly strung to cope with the flight and change of environment.  I can't begin to describe how I am dreading that day and how awful I feel about it.  Heart-breaking!

So yes, I am feeling that the cost of our decision to move to the UK is very high indeed.  And while I don't for one minute doubt that it's the right decision, it comes at a price.  I am sure that as we get closer to our departure date I will have many days of excitement and anticipation and I suppose there will be many days - like today - when I feel the pain that comes with letting go.